Many fail to see the importance of sexual health in a loving relationship and those that do may turn to Oral Sex to enhance the way they interact with their partner, but perhaps rather than getting down to doing it they should first concentrate on something much more important. There are many books that will claim to instruct on how to perform oral sex properly, but this particular one is a little different.

Written by Doctors Jordan Paul and Brenda Freshman, their book on ORAL SEX hopes to teach couples how to listen and talk their way to greater intimacy and in turn, the best sex of their lives.

While this book’s title is somewhat misleading, the lessons learned are a lot more important than simple instructions on the different forms of oral sex. Yeah I know that some of you would like to know how to pleasure your partner using oral sex, but let’s leave that for another post.


There are a few reviews of this book, and one of the best I’ve come across was written by Nonie, of which this is a small excerpt.

The first chapter, “Having a Heart On” is all about the Heart Connection. Within this chapter they include everything with regards to having the “Light On” for both of you to connect and also what happens when the “Light Is Off” and the disconnection that will follow. During the time that your heart wavers from on to off, you realize that one main feeling courses through you; Fear. Through learning from exercises of compassionate listening and taking on personal responsibility you will see how you can take action to return to your heart.

Within Chapter 2, “The Nuts and Bolts of Holistic Sex”, you will find how the body, mind and spirit intertwine together to make sex the most intimate experience ever. Here each segment will be broken down so that the reader can grasp how each part, whether it be the body (scientifically and physically), mind (beliefs of masculinity and femininity) or spirit (living in the present) is shown by example within a quote or testimony.

Chapter 3, “Oral Sex for Fun, Pleasure and Healing”, brings communication to the front, and shows how it can be expressed in so many great ways. Having fun means going back to the basics and using what we all have within ourselves to “pleasure” oneself.

I remember this story I heard a long time ago, about a motivation expert who was holding a seminar. To start thing off he asked his audience how many people had sex that day. About 10% of the audience put their hands up. He then asked how many people had sex at least once a week, and roughly 70% put their hands up. Next he asked how many had sex at least once a month and 20-30% put their hands up.

There was a bit of a buzz in the room by then, and when he asked how many had sex once a year, a little geeky looking guy started jumping up and down, screaming excitedly, “Thats me, that’s me! I have sex once a year!”

The motivation expert, a little incredulous asked, “Really? Only once a year? Well, if that’s the case, I can’t for the life of me understand why your so excited about it?”

The little geek bloke, in a voice not becoming his small stature Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders Deluxe Sexy Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader Adult Costume - Small screamed out, “BECAUSE TONIGHTS THE NIGHT!”

That little story leads into this post perfectly. I’ve found on more that one occasion that nothing builds up the sexual juices more than anticipation. When you’ve been married for awhile and especially if you have kids, there just doesn’t seem to be enough time for sex and you tend to squeeze it in when you can. It almost becomes robotic, and while it released the sexual urges, it’s not what you call particularly exciting.

What I reckon couples should do is to plan a special night where there will be no interruptions. See if you can offload the kids for the night so that you can let your inhibitions run wild.

One great way to get the juices going is to have a little play acting. Perhaps the little lady could dress up as a Dallas Cowgirl Cheerleader, or you could lead up to the big event by trying some adult style games.

The thing is that this is something that you should plan together for a future date. Seeing as Halloween is not all that far away, perhaps something with a Halloween theme is in order. Personally I reckon sex on Halloween would be a whole lot better than getting candy. Then again, why not have a bit of candy as well.


Seeing as how I love jokes so much I thought it only fitting that I have a ‘Sex Jokes’ section on this blog. Finally I have an outlet for my six twisted jokes that I couldn’t post on my other blogs ;)

This joke starts when a travelling salesman walks into a pub in some small country town. As he saunters up to the bar he notices a bowl full of ten dollar notes. He gets the barman’s attention and asks him, “Hey mate, I’m new in town. What’s with the bowl full of ten dollar notes?”

The barman replies, “Well you see, I have this mule at the back who has never, ever laughed in his life. If anyone can make him laugh they win the bowl full of money, all it costs is a ten buck note to enter.”

The salesman thought this would be an great way to make some easy money an so he dutifully puts in his ten bucks and walks out the back. Not five minutes later everyone stops in astonishment, their beers held in mid air, as they hear the loud hee hawing of the mule.

The salesman, grinning from ear to ear, pockets the money and casually strolls out.

Months later, the salesman enters the same pub and notices a bowl full of $20 notes. He orders a beer and asks the barman as to what the deal was with the bowl this time.

“Well,” said the barman, “ever since you left, we haven’t been able to get that damn donkey to stop laughing, so now anyone that can make him stop wins all that cash.”

“Cool,” said the salesman as he deposits his $20. He heads on out the back and once again the bar patrons are shocked into silence as the mule stops laughing. Again, the salesman pockets all the money as is about to leave when the barman stops him.

“Hang on a sec mate, the least you can do is tell us how you managed to win all that cash on both occasions.”

“Now worries mate,” replies the salesman, “the first time I told the mule that my cock was bigger than his. The second time all I had to do was how him my cock!”

I love being a blogger because you always learn learn something new. I started this blog with some trepidation because although I always thought I was quite proficient in the sex department I knew with some certainty that, what with modern technology and all, I wasn’t keeping up with the times. Little did I know how far behind the times I had actually fallen.

Take cock rings for an example. If someone had asked me what one was before writing this post I would have guessed it had something to do with cock fighting ring!

Thankfully I know know a little bit more about them. I now know that they can be used to enhance the sexual pleasure as well as having the ability to provide a longer, harder and thicker erection. Some cock rings can be specifically designed to stimulate the clitoris heightening the woman’s pleasure as well as the mans.

This Wikipedia article on cock rings is really quite informative, and you should pay particularly close attention to the medical issues as some problems can arise if worn too tightly or for too long a period.

Like everything these days there are a lot to choose from, including vibrating ones. While surfing I also noticed that a lot of women actually buy them as gifts for their husbands, as a special treat that both get to enjoy. Maybe I should leave this post on the computer so that the wife will see it.

Premature ejaculation is a pretty devastating problem, one that effects their partners just as much as it does them. Simply put it’s a lack of control over a man’s ejaculation causing it to occur sooner than they would wish it to. Naturally it ties into a man’s sexual exitement during sex and depending on the situation the timing can occur at different stages. Some men can ejaculate almost as soon as foreplay starts, others right before penetration and others soon after.

Unfortunately this can cause some anxiety between the couples and for some males this anxiety can affect their performance the next time they attempt intercourse. Therefore, we as males must accept that premature ejaculation can happen to all men, especially if they haven’t had sex for a long time. Accepting this will keep anxiety at bay helping our next sexual encounter.

Unfortunately for some men this is a common occurance and they may need to seek the help of a qualifed sex therapist.

The trouble is that most men find it an embarassing subject and the last thing they will want to do is seek professional help, and they will only resort to this as a last resort. So, what can they do to alleviate the problem? I did a bit of Googling and have come up with the following tips.

  • Relax, don’t stress over past performance.
  • Use the first ejaculation as a prelude to further sex. This means if you have just ejaculated prematurely, rather than worry about it, take it in your stride and continue with the foreplay. More than likely you will notice that your second orgasm will take much longer than your first and you can use the time it takes for a new erection in teasing your loving partners erogenous zones.
  • Apparently men can also use a version of the Kegal exercise that I mentioned in the last post. The muscles involved are the same muscle that you would use were you to stop urinating mid stream. You simply do it while your bladder is empty, contracting your muscles tightly and holding if for 10 seconds. You would do this up to a dozen times several times a day.
  • There are several herbal products that profess to help males suffering premature ejacualation. One such product is called Delay, and it consists of Withania somnifera (Ashwagandha), Cnidium Monnieri, Tribulus Terrestris, Semen Cuscutae (Dodder seed), Dioscorea Villosa (Wild yam), Passiflora Incarnata (Passion flower), Curculigo Orchioides (Black musale), Cardamom and  Zinc oxide.

If you have tried this product we would love to hear of your experience with it, whether it be positive or negative.

While I have only briefly touched on the subject, I have come across one particular article that I have found to be very informative. The thing to remember is that the worst thing that you can do is to dwell on any poor performance. You owe it to yourelf and to your partner to take whatever steps necessary to resolve the problem, and if this means seeing your local GP or a professional sex therapist, then so be it.