Seeing as how I love jokes so much I thought it only fitting that I have a ‘Sex Jokes’ section on this blog. Finally I have an outlet for my six twisted jokes that I couldn’t post on my other blogs ;)

This joke starts when a travelling salesman walks into a pub in some small country town. As he saunters up to the bar he notices a bowl full of ten dollar notes. He gets the barman’s attention and asks him, “Hey mate, I’m new in town. What’s with the bowl full of ten dollar notes?”

The barman replies, “Well you see, I have this mule at the back who has never, ever laughed in his life. If anyone can make him laugh they win the bowl full of money, all it costs is a ten buck note to enter.”

The salesman thought this would be an great way to make some easy money an so he dutifully puts in his ten bucks and walks out the back. Not five minutes later everyone stops in astonishment, their beers held in mid air, as they hear the loud hee hawing of the mule.

The salesman, grinning from ear to ear, pockets the money and casually strolls out.

Months later, the salesman enters the same pub and notices a bowl full of $20 notes. He orders a beer and asks the barman as to what the deal was with the bowl this time.

“Well,” said the barman, “ever since you left, we haven’t been able to get that damn donkey to stop laughing, so now anyone that can make him stop wins all that cash.”

“Cool,” said the salesman as he deposits his $20. He heads on out the back and once again the bar patrons are shocked into silence as the mule stops laughing. Again, the salesman pockets all the money as is about to leave when the barman stops him.

“Hang on a sec mate, the least you can do is tell us how you managed to win all that cash on both occasions.”

“Now worries mate,” replies the salesman, “the first time I told the mule that my cock was bigger than his. The second time all I had to do was how him my cock!”

I love being a blogger because you always learn learn something new. I started this blog with some trepidation because although I always thought I was quite proficient in the sex department I knew with some certainty that, what with modern technology and all, I wasn’t keeping up with the times. Little did I know how far behind the times I had actually fallen.

Take cock rings for an example. If someone had asked me what one was before writing this post I would have guessed it had something to do with cock fighting ring!

Thankfully I know know a little bit more about them. I now know that they can be used to enhance the sexual pleasure as well as having the ability to provide a longer, harder and thicker erection. Some cock rings can be specifically designed to stimulate the clitoris heightening the woman’s pleasure as well as the mans.

This Wikipedia article on cock rings is really quite informative, and you should pay particularly close attention to the medical issues as some problems can arise if worn too tightly or for too long a period.

Like everything these days there are a lot to choose from, including vibrating ones. While surfing I also noticed that a lot of women actually buy them as gifts for their husbands, as a special treat that both get to enjoy. Maybe I should leave this post on the computer so that the wife will see it.

Premature ejaculation is a pretty devastating problem, one that effects their partners just as much as it does them. Simply put it’s a lack of control over a man’s ejaculation causing it to occur sooner than they would wish it to. Naturally it ties into a man’s sexual exitement during sex and depending on the situation the timing can occur at different stages. Some men can ejaculate almost as soon as foreplay starts, others right before penetration and others soon after.

Unfortunately this can cause some anxiety between the couples and for some males this anxiety can affect their performance the next time they attempt intercourse. Therefore, we as males must accept that premature ejaculation can happen to all men, especially if they haven’t had sex for a long time. Accepting this will keep anxiety at bay helping our next sexual encounter.

Unfortunately for some men this is a common occurance and they may need to seek the help of a qualifed sex therapist.

The trouble is that most men find it an embarassing subject and the last thing they will want to do is seek professional help, and they will only resort to this as a last resort. So, what can they do to alleviate the problem? I did a bit of Googling and have come up with the following tips.

  • Relax, don’t stress over past performance.
  • Use the first ejaculation as a prelude to further sex. This means if you have just ejaculated prematurely, rather than worry about it, take it in your stride and continue with the foreplay. More than likely you will notice that your second orgasm will take much longer than your first and you can use the time it takes for a new erection in teasing your loving partners erogenous zones.
  • Apparently men can also use a version of the Kegal exercise that I mentioned in the last post. The muscles involved are the same muscle that you would use were you to stop urinating mid stream. You simply do it while your bladder is empty, contracting your muscles tightly and holding if for 10 seconds. You would do this up to a dozen times several times a day.
  • There are several herbal products that profess to help males suffering premature ejacualation. One such product is called Delay, and it consists of Withania somnifera (Ashwagandha), Cnidium Monnieri, Tribulus Terrestris, Semen Cuscutae (Dodder seed), Dioscorea Villosa (Wild yam), Passiflora Incarnata (Passion flower), Curculigo Orchioides (Black musale), Cardamom and  Zinc oxide.

If you have tried this product we would love to hear of your experience with it, whether it be positive or negative.

While I have only briefly touched on the subject, I have come across one particular article that I have found to be very informative. The thing to remember is that the worst thing that you can do is to dwell on any poor performance. You owe it to yourelf and to your partner to take whatever steps necessary to resolve the problem, and if this means seeing your local GP or a professional sex therapist, then so be it.

Some of you may wonder what a mere male could possibly know of some of the problems that some women may face as they progress in there lives and while I may not know of their issues first hand, I do hear of them from different sources, and upon acquiring knowledge of a problem I will endeavor to find a solution.

A lot of problems that women may come across is actually located in the vaginal area. These can be due to changes that have occurred due to having children or they can creep up on them as they grow older. One problem that is usually associated with older women is incontinence but what many women do not realize is that it can occur in younger women. I’ve known this problem exist because I’ve seen ads on TV promoting nappies for adults, and while they are better as far as protection goes I felt sure that they should only be used as a last resort.

I’ve even heard of some women who have reduced sexual responsiveness because things just aren’t as tight down there as they used to be. Again I felt that there would be something available that could resolve this conditions, especially as I’ve heard the vaginal area is a muscle and I know that muscles can be worked to make them stronger. Little did I know that there was one product that could resolve both problems.

So what is it and how does it work? Here is a little excerpt  from an article in Marie Claire Magazine that’s posted on their website!

WHAT IT IS A device that tones your pubococcygeus muscle or PC muscle using resistance.

HOW IT WORKS You insert it into your vagina, then you practice squeezing and releasing the device by tightening your vaginal wall around it.

WHAT WE FOUND “When I opened the box I thought it was really funny looking. But it was easy to use. I started with the lowest of fifteen tension settings and worked up to level five by the end of a four weeks.”

BETTER ORGASM? “Yes. Sex is definitely better for both me and my partner after using it. He says I feel tighter – and I can feel how strongly I contract, especially during orgasm.”

BIOFEEDBACK“Faith’s muscles were healthy and well balanced to begin with, and she added even more stamina by doing these exercises, which accounts for her positive results,” says Dr. Glazer.

The Kegelmaster™ is truly amazing in what it can do for your sex life. In fact, we are so confident that the Kegelmaster™ will improve your sex life, that if you are not completely satisfied, return it and Kegelmaster, LTD will refund 500% of your money! Nowhere else will you find a company with the confidence to stand behind their product like this!

 

You too can rejuvenate the vaginal area by discovering the Advanced Kegelmaster for 2009…
Learn more of the Kegelmaster by watching the actual instruction video.

 

Another excerpt from the Kegelmaster website;

Teri Hatcher speaks about the effectiveness of the Kegelmaster™ on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno
The stunningly beautiful and famed actress Teri Hatcher of the hit TV show Desperate Housewives may have shocked some fans this past May 4th when she appeared as a guest on the Tonight show with Jay Leno and revealed one of her personal fitness secrets.

In a candid, unrehearsed and unpaid for endorsement, the femme fatale raved about the best thing that ever happened to her sex life, she was talking, of course, about the Kegelmaster™!

She spared no intimate details of her newly found sexual sensations and other health benefits.  She spoke of the simplicity of use, the quick results and how the Kegelmaster™ has improved the quality of her life!

“All the other ‘desperate housewives’ are engaged or married, but, when I get a boyfriend, he’s gonna hit the jackpot!  Every woman should have a Kegelmaster™!” ~ Actress, Teri Hatcher

You can even watch the actual video while you are there.

 

Sometimes, a change in the environment is all that it takes to stimulate the old sexual urges. Think about it, you been together for years doing it the same old way in the same places, it’s no wonder that sex just isn’t as exiting as it used to be. What you really need is some uniquely styled furniture designed specifically for your sexual enjoyment.

What every sexually active person would love is something that transforms ordinary beds and bedrooms into creative sex terrain by employing angles, elevations, curves, textures, environments and motion. After all, sometimes all it takes for that added pleasure is trying new angles and positions, ones that give deeper penetration thereby leading to greater pleasure. The trouble is that no matter how fit a couple may be, maintaining the position necessary to obtain these angles can be quite tiring and the last thing that you want in the throes of sexual pleasure is to get a cramp. Luckily I’ve managed to source a site whose one main aim is to give their customers the opportunity to achieve the ultimate sexual experience.


Liberator Bedroom Adventure Gear

The Liberator series is just one of the many superbly crafted products from Liberator’s. bedroom adventure gear. Liberator is a luxury and love style brand that celebrates intimacy by inspiring romantic imagination. Established with the conviction that sensual pleasure and fulfillment are essential to a well-lived life, Liberator Bedroom Adventure Gear empowers exploration, fantasy and the communication of desire, no matter the person’s shape, size or ability.


Liberator Bedroom Adventure Gear

If you are looking for something to reignite that sexual spark in your relationship I reckon you should take a look at the products available at Liberator ranging from sex toys and lingerie to role playing items as well as a library full of books and videos.