beaver patrol

Yes it is true, some women do have a sense of humor as portrayed by these photos that I received as an email from a mate of mind. Now I don’t know who the women are that are in these photos but if you’re one of them and you don’t want the photo displayed on this blog just contact me and I’ll have it removed.

As you can see in each photo the women have taken their surroundings into consideration and posed accordingly.

This first one probably makes more sense to most Americans as the word beaver to them may mean something entirely different from those of us who live outside the States. I have to admit though, that I like this type of beaver a lot more than the ones found in the animal kingdom, and from what I can see this is a very fine specimen indeed.

beaver lick

Now this next one is definitely not a Playboy bunny but it does have a lovely couple of sheila companions, one of which seems to be wanting to play with it’s private parts. Seems that she has mastered a pretty good technique too. Read the rest of this entry

sexy golf

Yep, we all love to have a romp in the sack, there’s no doubt at all about that. There’s also times when we may want to bring sex toys into the bedroom so that we can improve a little on the action we’re getting. Some may even want to bring these sex aids into the equation so that they may finally get some action. Well, whether you’re getting any action or not I’d like to brighten up your day a little by sharing a couple of jokes with you. Lucky for me this being an adult site and all they’re allowed to have adult content.

This first one involves golf and ladies who play golf whilst not wearing panties.

The Swede’s wife steps up to the tee and, as she bends over to place her ball, a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her lack of underwear.

 

Image by skylarneil via Flickr

‘Good God, woman! Why aren’t you wearing any skivvies?’, her
husband demanded.

‘Well’ she said, ‘you don’t give me enough housekeeping money to afford any.’

The Swede immediately reaches into his pocket and says, ‘For the sake of decency, here’s a 50. Go and buy yourself some underwear..’

Next, the Irishman’s wife bends over to set her ball on the tee..
Her skirt also blows up to show that she, too, is wearing no undies. ‘Blessed Virgin Mary, woman! You’ve no knickers. Why not?’

She replies, ‘I can’t afford any on the money you give me.’

Patrick reaches into his pocket and says, ‘For the sake of
decency, here’s a 20. Go and buy yourself some underwear”!

Lastly, the Scotsman’s wife bends over. The wind also takes her
skirt over her head to reveal that she, too, is naked under it.

‘Sweet mudder of Jaysus, Aggie! Where ta friggin hell are yer drawers?’

She too explains, ‘You dinna give me enough money ta be able ta
affarrd any.’

The Scotsman reaches into his pocket and says, ‘Well, fer the
love ‘o decency, here’s a comb…. Tidy yerself up a bit.

The next one’s about young Jabu and how he keeps getting a black eye.

Jabu walked into class every morning with a black eye . After a while his teacher got worried and asked him about it.

Jabu’s answer was: “Our house is very small miss. Me, my mother and my father, we sleep on the same bed. Every night my father asks, ‘Jabu are you sleeping?’ Then I say ‘No’ and then he slaps my face and gives  me a Black eye.”

So the teacher says to him, “Tonight when your father asks again, keep dead quiet and don’t answer”.

The following morning Jabu comes to school and his eye is fine, so the teacher breathes a sigh of relief. But the day after that Jabu comes back with a severe black eye again. “My goodness Jabu, why the black eye again?”

He tells her: “Mam, Dad asked me again, ‘Jabu are you sleeping?… and I shut up and kept dead still. Then my father and my mother started moving at the same time Mom was breathing erratically, kicking her legs up frantically and squealing like a demented hyena on the bed”… Then my father asks my mother: ‘Are you coming?’ Then my mom says, ‘Yes I’m coming, are you coming too?’ and my dad answered ‘Yes’.

They don’t usually go anywhere without me so I said ‘Wait for me…

Yeah I know I could probably have gotten away with posting then on a non adult blog, but you have to admit they were funny :D

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dildo

The Difference Between A Dildo & A Vibrator?

The truth is that while some vibrators can be classed as dildos dildos are not vibrators, basically because they don’t vibrate. Generally speaking a dildo takes the shape of a penis and comes in different colors and sizes and is can also be made of different material. The main function of a dildo is that it’s designed for insertion.

Vibrators on the other hand are a lot more diversified and come in all shapes and sizes. Some are designed so they can be inserted and some purely for stimulating the clitoris. Because there are so many vibrators I think it best we take a look at a sample to see how diversified they can be.

The Thrusting Jack Rabbit Vibrator

Thrusting Jack Rabbit Vibrator

G Spot finder

This vibrator is unique in that it thrusts away while tickling your clit at the same time! It’s revolutionary design eliminates jamming for greater durability New and improved, this rabbit vibrator features the best thrusting sensation your friends at Adam and Eve have ever tested. Offering a little something for everyone, this rabbit vibrator works your 3 most sensitive erogenous zones clit, G Spot and vagina to give you orgasm after orgasm! Tip thrusts in and out while beads spin to massage your G Spot and pussy Powerful rabbit ears tickle and tease your clit 7 different vibration patterns and 6 rotation and thrusting speeds! Waterproof for fun in the shower or tub 2 independent controllers for vibration and rotation/thrusting Rabbit vibrator measures 8 inches long and 1.5 inches wide, insertable Requires 4 AA batteries, sold separately The most innovative feature is the redesigned thrusting mechanism. While other thrusting vibrators are prone to jam and break, this one is powered by an extra-strong piston and 3 rows of spinning beads for greater strength and durability! This keeps the vibrator pumping away at your pussy even when if you give it a little squeeze! Meanwhile, a separate row of beads are spinning and twirling against your G Spot and pussy lips, massaging them with a tender touch to make your knees shake. And if that s not enough, a separately powered stimulator is buzzing away at your clit tickling and teasing your love nub until you’re ready to beg for mercy.

This feature-packed vibrator raises the bar even more by offering an amazing 7 vibration and 6 rotation settings giving you 42 different levels to try out. And it s even waterproof so you ll actually look forward to getting out of bed for your shower on Monday morning.

The Thrusting Jack Rabbit Vibrator is made from jelly and measures 8 inches long and 1.5 inches across at its widest point. The sex toy features multiple controllers so you can change the vibration and thrusting/rotation speeds separately giving you dozens of options for sexual play.

Japanes G Spot Squirmy Rose

According to the only review on this product it is considered to be the sexual toy of choice. According to the product description;

Silicone Velvet Touch waterproof multi-function G-spot vibrator. Excellent for direct G-spot and clitoris stimulation. Made of hygienically soft, smooth superior silicone, the Squirmy Vibe features separate rotation and clit stimulation controls. There are three separate levels for each function and a reverse capability for the rotating head. Easy-to-use push-button controls have lighted indicators for use in the dark! Length of this vibe is 8 inches with an insertable length of 3 inches. Requires 3 AAA batteries, not included.

Naturally when manufactures describe any of their products they always put a positive spin on it which is why you should always read the customer reviews whenever they are available.

Doc Johnson Lucid Dream Vibrator

The Doc Johnson Lucid Dream 48 Squirmy Vibrator, now there is a mouthful for you ;) , Purple in color is touted to be a dream come true as far as vibrators go. Here’s your Amazon product description.

The feeling is surreal with Lucid Dreams Squirmy 48. The shaft features a twisted swirl design and attached clitoral stimulator. The tip of the rotating shaft contains a large egg vibrator for powerful vibrations to reach deep inside the vagina. The function controller is located at the base, which provides the user with an array of selections to choose from. This attractive personal massager is virtually silent and waterproof, so you can take it anywhere.

This vibrator comes with a sleuth of customer reviews so you should really check out what they say about it before making up your mind.

The We-Vibe

What makes this vibrator unique is that it can be worn while having Sex! Here’s what the promotional material has to say about it.

The We-Vibe is the newest innovation in vibrator technology. The We-Vibe is a small silicone vibrator with two vibration points—one that stimulates your clitoris, and one that presses against your G-spot. The We-Vibe is shaped like a C, but has a flexible internal skeleton which allows it to bend to perfectly fit your body.

What’s so amazing about the We-Vibe? It was designed to be worn during sex.

The We-Vibe is the perfect vibrator for sex or solo play. It was engineered to hug your curves, and presses securely against your G-spot when his penis is inside you. The We-Vibe is small and slender (measuring at 3.25 inches in insertable length and 1 inch across), so a penis or dildo can comfortably fit into the vagina along with this pleasurable vibe.

The We-Vibe has two settings of vibration, and seven different pulsation settings. If you choose to use it during sex, he will feel the vibrations as well. We-Vibe users find that many positions work well for the We, from woman-on-top to missionary to doggy style. The We-Vibe is hands-free, whisper-quiet and wireless.

The We-Vibe is extremely versatile. The We performs well in tandem with a dildo, or all by itself during solo play. Because the We-Vibe conforms to your anatomy, you can wear it inside a snug pair of panties for more solo thrills. The We-Vibe is so whisper quiet that no one will be the wiser.

The We-Vibe II is made of medical-grade silicone. It is rechargeable, and each charge provides two hours of pleasure. The We-Vibe features two powerful, quiet motors. The vibration has two settings, low and high, which are controlled by a small slide switch at the base of the We. This waterproof personal massage  can be used in the bath or shower for added versatility.

The We-Vibe comes with a discreet case and its own charger. Because it is constructed of medical-grade silicone, you must use a water-based lubricant with the We-Vibe.

This is just a small sample of vibrators that can be found. There are way too much to be included in one post, but not to worry, all the more reasons for you to come back for future posts.

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traffic law

The one good thing about having a sex blog is that you don’t have to worry about Google banning it, and that’s usually because Google wouldn’t accept it  in the first place. Another good thing is that you don’t have to worry about adding adult content, because people expect adult content on a sex site.

This is great because I get a lot of adult joke sent to me and until not I haven’t been able to share them with anyone online. I got this one the other day, and it’s not really a joke as such but it does have a funny side to it.

Essentially it’s about knowing traffic rules, and if you don’t get it you’re either too old or too young to be driving. Needless to say I reckon most men would get this one right.

Q:  You are driving along a narrow two lane road with a NO PASSING FOR 2 MILES sign posted, and you come upon a bicycle rider. Do you:
(a)  Follow this slow-moving bicycle rider for the next 2 miles, or
(b) Do you break the law and pass?

Which is the correct choice?

Read the rest of this entry

Mihály Zichy: (making love, Cunnilingus) 1911,...
Image via Wikipedia

Awhile back I did a post on how to get a blow job and I discussed things that may be preventing you from getting a blow job and ways of getting around those obstacles. I also left relevant links to resources on how to give a good blow job. Well I thought it was only fair that we do something for the ladies so this post is all about cunnilingus, the act of orally stimulating the female genitals. Now that word may be a little hard for some people to wrap their tongue around ;) so let’s look at some other words that people may be more familiar with.

  • Eating Pussy
  • Muff Dive: These days this doesn’t make as much sense as more women get Brazilians
  • Going Downtown
  • Carpet Munch: Again like muff dive it’s not entirely relevant a lot of the times
  • Eat someone out
  • Pearl diving: relating directly to the clitoris

Anyway, I think you get the idea. I can’t help but wonder though what would happen if some aliens got hold of some oral sex manual and took it literally :D Now, I’m not proclaiming to be an expert on pleasing a woman orally but I have learned a few things.

  1. Some women can be pretty sensitive down there so it’s not a good idea to get stuck into it straight away. Leave it to a little later in the game and start slow.
  2. Be gentle, and don’t ask stupid questions like’ do you like it this way?’ That’s almost as stupid as a woman saying ‘does my ass look big in this dress?’ If you have to ask anything it’s best to give her a choice as in, ‘do you like it softer or harder?’
  3. Be attentive to her needs: She may gently try to move your head away. This means she’s not quite ready so don’t persist. There are other delicacies on a woman’s body that you can give your attention to.
  4. When you think it’s time don’t just go straight to it. Work your way down slowly. After a lingering kiss, you could work on her ear lobes, the nape of her neck, her breasts, tummy, belly button, around one thigh, then the next. Then you may even kiss her vagina gently and wait for a reaction. All going well you can lick around the lips and then gently tackle the clitoris.
  5. Some women may want to achieve an orgasm though oral sex but some prefer penetration. Again be aware for signs so that you know when to stop.

How do you know if your performing oral sex ? The best way is to be attentive. Listen to her breathing. Are there sounds of pleasure? Is he moving her body in appreciation? If you’re attentive enough you will know when your over doing something or you stopped doing something that was working.

Naturally I can’t include all the ways on how to give great oral sex to a woman in one post so I’ll provide links to resources that you may find useful.

OK, you don’t like reading texts, well then, how about some instructional videos? ;)

I’m sure there is something there that will help you in your endeavors to be a great oral sex expert :)