I am so happy to present to you a guest post from a female reader and I think it’s perfect to have a woman’s view on this subject. Anne is a 38 year old wife and mom of 3 who knows women are every bit as sexual as men. They just need a little more to get them there. When not living, loving, and laughing with her family in the mountains of Virginia, Anne can be found writing about it on her site AnneOnLife.
I ran up the door, opened the stairs, said my pajamas and put on my prayers – turned off my bed, tumbled into my light, and all because he kissed me good-night!
– Author Unknown
Valentine’s Day is fast approaching. Before you run out and buy that box of chocolates, a dozen or two overpriced red roses, or even make reservations at the local hot spot think about this. What does the woman in your life really want?
She wants to be romanced.
Sure chocolates are nice, but women are always preoccupied with their weight. Eating all of those chocolates will only make her even more self-conscious. The more self-conscious she is about her body the less likely she is to let you get near it.
Flowers are pretty, but will be dead within the week. Dinner out, well, she might actually like that one.
She wants to feel wanted.
In fact, many women enjoy sex every bit as much as a man. We just need a little more to get us in the mood. The simplest way to do this is with a kiss. Think it’s not that easy? You might be surprised.
Kissing is to women what porn is to men, only better. Want to find her real g-spot? Learn how to kiss the way she wants you to kiss. I once dated a complete jerk because he could kiss, among other things. Kissing is important!
For women, kissing is “an emotional litmus test”
There are actual scientific studies on kissing, but that is not what I want to discuss today. I want to discuss The Art of Kissing. Because it is an art, you know. Sometimes it seems a lost art, but you can change that.
Do a little research
Go to your local library and scan a few romance novels.
Skip the hokey stuff and find the love scenes. This shouldn’t be too hard. Love scenes in romance novels go on for pages. Get a feel for how women fantasize. It’s different than men. Better still, check out some of the books she’s reading. After all, it’s her fantasies you want to fulfill.
Rent a movie or two.
Watch The Notebook. Besides being one of the best love stories, it has some of the best kissing scenes ever. Fast forward through the parts you don’t like, but watch those kissing scenes. Over and over and as many times as needed. Remember, women want to feel wanted. Make her feel as sexual as the girl in the movie. She loses herself in the moment and you have a very good night.
I also suggest Knight Moves with Christopher Lambert. This is a suspense thriller, but Christopher Lambert knows how to create a lustful mood. The scene is in the beginning. Hit rewind and watch that scene more than once. Bonus – it’s a guy movie, so you can play off the real reason for watching it.
Tip: Don’t watch this with your wife unless you turn it off when the sex scene is over. This is a suspense thriller, not a romantic comedy.
Ask questions, Get feedback
Talk to your wife. What better way to find out what she likes than to ask. Steer clear of vague answer questions. Be direct. Be sincere. Get the ball rolling by telling her what you like. This is called building intimacy guys. If you want a more sustained sex life, then intimacy is key.
Tip: Lighten the mood by giving her a massage while you talk. This relaxes her and takes her mind off any reluctance to answer she may be feeling. It also makes for good foreplay.
Practice makes perfect
Don’t make it about getting some. Nothing says selfish like putting the woman where you want her. This means no gentle coaxing her mouth to your penis. No placing her hand there either. Big turn off. If she’s feeling it, you won’t need to coax her into anything.
Do make it about her. Pucker up, like you mean it. Use your hands and hold her face, pull her close. Kiss her mouth, open and sensual. Kiss her neck, no sucking please. Take your time. Foreplay is important. Don’t stop at her neck, work your way down. Build the mood.
Tip: Remember to kiss her during your love making. This retains intimacy and keeps her in the moment. The more preoccupied she is with you the less likely she is to drift off and start thinking about her perceived flaws.
Try out a few things. Remember what you learned during your sensual Q&A. Emulate the kissing scenes found in the movies you watched. You’ll know what works and what doesn’t by the reaction you get.
Do it right and you may find yourself doing it more often. Now that’s what I call a gift that keeps on giving. And to think, it all started with a kiss.
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